cuti belajar - a risk worth taking?

cuti belajar or study leave is really a hot issue in every meeting chaired by the Dean. he has numerous times reminded all of us to make preparation for that purpose by end of June, so that those who want to further study can start in September this year. i am one of them. i've been teaching for 10 years. time flies and many of my colleagues have embarked on the journey, and many have returned with success. plus, students nowadays are much more advanced and most are very good, that being a mediocre teacher is not sufficient to teach them. thus, i need to upgrade and equip myself with new and more knowledge so i can become an excellent educator.

in the faculty meeting last month, the Dean has specifically mentioned my name, saying that he hoped i wouldn't withdraw my intention to further study this year. he also asked my husband (he mentioned his name) to support my decision to go. that statement implied that my husband wasn't supportive or probably i wasn't serious in this matter. in fact, dean has the right to say that, after all, he's the boss. it's my procrastination that is the main problem. i gave more priority to classes, students' assignments, proofreadings, translations, that i put aside this study leave process. Dean also reminded all language teachers to not to be so obsessed with part-time job & claims that made us forget about pursuing studies. he is also right about that. everytime we send in the claim form, we need to get his signature of endorsement. and he knows.

from that meeting, i slowly picked up things where i left in february. i've sent the application to further for PhD, and now am waiting for the offer letter. I've also sent some forms to the dean. this morning, kak siti, his PA, joked, 'salawati ada masalah disiplin, prof tak sign tau'. ouchh! that joke early in the morning nearly made me fainted! but at the same time she handed me the paper, with Prof's approval - 'dibenarkan untuk cuti belajar'. but i have this weird feeling. it's not happiness. but nervousness. i've started to feel uneasy. there is another form that Prof has to evaluate my preparation to further study. i will have to wait for that, maybe end of this week i will know what Prof has to say about me. uneasy. seriously.

there are lots of things that i need to sort out. i must start driving. i must not totally depend on my husband to drive me around. kids must start to be independent. and the list goes on...

Ya Allah, permudahkan urusanku...

taken from: http://bashar-igop.blogspot.com/2010/12/its-never-too-late.html